Hi, it’s Kelly. Thank you for coming back to read more of my story.
My last post was about how Kurt introduced me to meth and how I quickly became addicted. By the time I learned the true nature of Kurt’s job and the substance he had given me to help me study, I was hooked. All I cared about was getting more meth.
Although I started doing meth to help me stay awake for nursing school and my job at a restaurant, those things soon became far less important to me than keeping myself steadily high on meth.
Kurt and I would start every day by smoking meth. He would then go into the basement to work while I went to class. I remember my classmates looking at me strangely as I would scratch and scratch my face in class, like a dog with fleas. I soon had sores on my face that wouldn’t heal because I would regularly pick at them. This is a common side effect of meth.
Kurt and I also would go days without sleep, and this made us paranoid and irritable. We would fight over the littlest things, and I became combative and irrational at work.
Between my bloody face and unprofessional behavior, it wasn’t long before I was fired from the restaurant. With no way to pay for school, I dropped out of nursing school as well. It was fine with me because Kurt made enough from his meth business to support us both, and I could just stay home all day with him and get high.
I should point out that my family lived out of state, and by now I had lost all my friends because all I did was stay home with Kurt and do drugs. I had isolated myself, and there was no one in my life to notice that I was addicted to drugs and try to get me help. Kurt and I were really the only ones in each other’s lives at this point, and we fed off each other’s addiction.
I don’t think I even loved Kurt anymore by this time. I don’t think I was capable of loving anyone, not even myself. The only thing I loved or cared about was meth. I needed that constant flow of euphoria and energy, otherwise, I felt sick and terrible. Instead of achieving a high, doing drugs became about avoiding feeling terrible. Even if it had been days since I’d last slept and I knew meth would just keep me awake longer, I still had to smoke more to keep from feeling sick.
Keep reading to find out what happened when I became pregnant.